crying

why do we cry? specifically, when were young? like when were babies and toddlers.

i was waiting for the tram today and i saw this poor mother, hunched over in the cold, trying to soothe her crying boy. he was about two or three and i just paused in front of the KFC and stood in the amazement of it all.

she was frantically pulling out bottles, pacifiers, anything to get him to shut up. no choo cho? no ba ba? maybe its apple juice? that always works, that's not it? why are you crying? like wailing crying. what is so specific in our human genetics that we have to cry about shit that isn't going our way? what if this kid didn't have any parents, would he cry and cry until he said fuck this, i'll just do it myself?

i mean, crying....c'mon. really? and when did we learn to stop crying? when did our parents convince us that everything would be OK beyond that horrible and everlasting moment. now that were older, do we sometimes cry on the inside when we don't get what we want, but we've learned not to express it? I know we've learned to rationalize the immediate, but still that experience must exist deep down inside of us.

think about it, when they're out of a video you want to rent or when a server messes up your order, you must being crying on the inside, just like this kid.

when was the last time you cried? i tried to think back about that and I thought maybe when I split with an ex girlfriend. sure that's reason enough to cry, that can be some pretty heavy shit. but then it came to me, i did cry, when i had to say goodbye to my grandmother before i left to prague. all these thoughts consumed me. what if this is the last time i see her? i was just a kid spending my every weekend with her, now i'm grown up and am moving halfway around the world. sure that got me, but where does it start, how does it shift towards a more emotional aspect and does it ever end?

i think a big step was when we learn to cuss. i was thinking if I was like this kid today and I didn't get what I wanted, I wouldn't break down and start weeping waiting for some stranger to take me in their arms. Instead I would say , "Shit" or "Fuck" and it's over and done with. end of story.

Like if you're running to the bank and right when you get there they close their doors. FUCK! SHIT! CRAP! FUCK! MOTHER FUCK!
You stub your toe...you get the point.

So I propose that we should starting teaching our kids to cuss at an earlier age. sure teachers and other parents might dislike the notion at first, but imagine all the time you could be saving. Instead of getting sucked into appeasing your child, you could be playing tennis. Instead of being bent over, hovering in the cold like this poor mother you could be learning a new language or watching a classic film instead. No apple juice? "Fuck!" "That's right Johnny now leave me alone, Daddies watching the Lakers!".

So I couldn't take it anymore, I decided to go buy some $6 dollar v necks to occupy my time. Nothing looked right, I went through piles of sweaters, all the same. Then I turned to another isle looking for the perfect sweater and gazed down on the floor to see this poor woman sprawled out having a seizure. Our eyes connected, she pissed her self and I took a step back, two other people, strangers, were already with her, guiding her through that state of utter helplessness. I looked around to see if anyone was calling an ambulance or if there was a doctor in the building. An associate just shrugged her shoulders at me as if this happened all the time. She looked at the woman flopping on the floor like a fish, shook her head and continued to ring up more clothes. Her fellow associate followed suit and I walked back to the scene. A woman brushed past me weeping from the intensity of it all, holding a tissue. I looked around for my place in all this and said, "Fuck".